TRIGGER WARNING FOR: Child abuse, child neglect, kidnapping.

He was righteous and holy and everything that I couldn't be. The quiet butcher housed on the corner with a big, black two-three. The house where I became Anna Lee. Anna Lee, Anna Lee. A-N-N-A. No longer Juliet, no longer Julie. Only his lovely girl. Forever girl. Dead girl. Dead because corpses can't feel. I can't feel. The girl who used to live on maple lane knew how to feel. She could smile, laugh, cry. She could love. That girl loved many things, like horses and cats. She loved the colour indigo because it was the same as the night sky. Oh, how she loved to laugh at childish things because she was a child. His forever child. The living doll.

That scream? I heard Hiram tell the neighbours that it was just the hogs. Twisted wrong on the hook so the knife didn't get a clean cut. Bloody mess, he said. Must have believed him cause they never bothered again. Anyone could believe him. I believed him when he said that he'd murder everyone that lived in that house on maple lane.

Only he could take proper care of me and give me everything a little girl needs. He was the only one who wanted to take care of me. My parents never searched, he said, never came knocking to see what had come of little Julie. Only he could love me. He'd tell me so, his breath tangling in my hair as he kissed the top of my head. I had nothing. Nothing... not even my name.

Juliet. The harsh thud of his palm stung my tear drenched cheek until I was sure my teeth would break. Juliet. Juliet. Again and again. My cries were silent screams of pain as he grabbed my hair and lifted me from the floor. Anna Lee.

I learned how to be a good and proper girl. Not like the disgusting pigs that come into his shop - and he wasn't talking about the ones in the back hanging, swinging from their hooks. I learned what he liked. He taught me how to take care of him. How to run the comb through the thick locks of his dark, black hair and how to button the trail of his shirts. I learned to wash, to fold. I learned how to clean because Hiram didn't like things to be dirty.

Even me. I had to be pure. Young. His forever girl. The doll girl.

The broken girl Anna Lee.

When the hair began to grow he looked at me with disgust. Refused to let me shave it myself and insisted on doing it with his own hand. He was afraid that I'd take the knife to my wrist. Maybe he was afraid I'd take it to my throat. I often wondered how it would feel to slice into my flesh and watch as the last traces of Juliet faded.

And then he'd kiss my forehead. Tell me he loved me, he'd take care of me. Stay forever as his little doll.

The dresses began to tighten and he'd say no dinner tonight while gorging himself on blood sausage and toast. I'd never known hunger like this. Never realized how foolish the girl on maple lane had been for not finishing her mothers cooking. Each night she'd labour after returning to the mills. Biscuits and gravy. Night after night. Juliet had been spoiled, ached for more than her mother and father could provide. She wanted fancy cakes, sweets and delights like the noble kids.

What I wouldn't give for just a crumb of biscuit.

Hiram began to trust me. Let me out of the shop to go down to the market where I was to pick up a new gown. Nothing larger than what he'd buy, he said with a grimmace as he looked at my body. Skin and bones. Hardly the figure befitting a girl of sixteen. I was too heavy, he'd say. No dinner that night, either.

The gown was on sale so I took the extra change and spend it on a slice of bread. I hoped he couldn't smell it.

I ruined his trust. In return, he ruined my body when his fist met with my chest. When his fingers curled into my hair and pulled until I was sure that my head would tear from my shoulders. The dress was too big, too cheap. Big like the pig-girls that come into his shop. Big like the hooks down in the store where the hogs hung. Big like Hiram and the knife he held. Why had I lied? Why was I being naughty? Why did I hurt him?

I thought he'd hit me again. Hit me like he did when I misbehaved. When I didn't do as I was told. I opened my eyes when the chains began to rattle and when his curses fell silent. I opened my eyes to see drops of blood raining on the floor. Blood that was fresh. Blood that was his. A sharp, rusted sound escaped me when I scrambled to my feet. It was a sound I couldn't recognize. A sound Anna Lee hadn't been allowed to make.

Juliet laughed. She laughed and laughed until she cried. The girl on maple lane was free. Free to roam the streets without a care. Free to run far, far from there. But in that, she realized how right Hiram had been.

My insides had never been so hollow; my stomach never so empty. The streets had been cruel, unforgiving. They were cold. I liked the cold. It was still much, much better than being Anna Lee.