She watched him closely, noting how he seemed to pinch his brow, the dip of his ears, the way his pupils seemed even larger than earlier, despite the light in the room. His breath came shakily, and she was not sure if it was in reaction to his circumstances or if it was something more. ”Thank you,” his voice distracted her a moment, meeting his gaze again, ”And I am sorry, I did not intend to stir up any past demons. I know not what you’ve endured but I pray you never have to face such trails again.” She tried to muster a smile, but all she could do was nod her head sightly. ”It is no worry, it was many years ago now.
”Though know this Helayne, if you ever want to do a bit of hunting… I’m your man.” His tongue trailed over canines too long to be mortal, and she couldn’t help but smile slightly. She’d guessed at his line, but he seemed to confirm it. She wasn’t sure quite how much she could trust him yet, and if she was ready to quite let that name slip free to another but she was grateful all the same. ”I appreciate it, I may take you up on that someday.”
”But you are right. What is happening now, what has transpired in the past, that isn’t what I want. I’ve made a mockery of myself to get out of their plans before and tonight is no different.” Hel felt a sharp pang of sympathy for him, to refer to himself in such a way, for the part he’d felt forced to play. She could only imagine at the things he’d had to do and the things forced upon him. Today was no different. ”I want to leave, but…” she leaned forward at his hesitation, watching his mind work on his face. He seemed to struggle to find his thoughts a moment, feeling that flit of concern nag at the back of her mind once more.
”If I left with you, I would need to keep in touch with someone important to me. I cannot - and will not - force my daughter to suffer from my decisions. It would be cruel to make her run and abandon what she’s found security in. If that is not possible then I have to stay.” A daughter. Her brows rose slightly, unaware he had a daughter. Would she be safe here without him? Would she take his place in their line, become the next forced to wed? She knew so little of her. ”I understand.” She swallowed the knot forming in her throat. It certainly made it more difficult to manage, but she didn’t think it would be impossible. ”Do you have someone you trust to act as your go between? Would she be safe without you here?” Hel tilted her head slightly, her gaze falling briefly. She knew what it was to grow up without her father’s protection and guidance. It had made her a target, it had left much up to her brother’s to look out for her. There were too many things a girl needed from her father. Meeting his gaze again, she took a steadying breath before speaking, ”Only you can know what her life will be like without you here. If you feel you can leave, there are ways I’m certain for you to see her, but it may be difficult at times.”
No matter the claims held over passage of time he knew it did little to lessen memories of the past, but all he could offer was a sense of understanding. An apology and a promise, for that was all one could do. “I may take you up on that someday.” Phrase bringing a crooked smile to the goat’s lips, “You know where to find me.” For it would either be trapped within Odersten’s walls or wherever a guided path may settle should he flee. No matter the circumstance it would not change results, if she called a hound would answer.
Make use of all an abhorred curse granted yet the prospect of a hunt could only hold focus for so long. For even through a growing gaze it was nearly impossible to miss how Helayne leaned upon her own perch. As watchful of him as he attempted to be of her though he could feel fixation slipping as sights wavered in and out of focus. Position lightly shifting, a quiver, a temporary start before once more resigning to stillness with nothing but the grip of fingers to steady himself.
Air blew slowly from his lungs, “Ajax. He lives at the house with us and is more than capable of keeping her safe.” The vampiric had more or less reared him after all and nothing untoward had lain inflicted by his hand. He was a man trusted… the only issue rose with the draft. If there was a call to arms he doubted the general would find understanding in a change of circumstance. There would be expectation to heed a summons. No matter what. “Other than him? No,” everyone else either lived too far from the area, held little to no knowledge over Juliet, or just wouldn’t care to get involved.
“Dad doesn’t know about her and while Lady Eiko knows how to keep a secret her involvement would be a lot more complicated.” His mother had beheld the girl, questioned the purpose of taking in a stray. A spark of curiosity lacing through silent judgments yet the fox had agreed to hold her tongue. Entrusting the delivery of such news - of an addition - to another, however, within August’s mind there was no reason to introduce a ‘street rat’ to Valerius. There never would be. Juliet would not be made to endure that man’s scorn.
“Only you know what her life will be like.” At that he felt his own gaze drift, dropping to his hands. She sounded so certain. There would be ways to see her though to say she did not need him would be a lie. No matter what had been taught or given to her over the years there was still much left to learn. So much seemingly a new experience when it came to that girl, one who could only guess at her own age when first he asked. That lone a draw of concern but like so much else about her it wasn’t questioned.
Answers would come when she was ready.
“It would be different for her though she’s only known me two years now. She’s not blood. I know nothing of her life before, she hasn’t told me of it and I do not expect her to.” For he witnessed the ways she grew quiet, how a frame used to shrink back or freeze entirely upon what had been seen as innocent gestures. How she never asked for what one desired from the shops, only sparing a passing glance as if it would go entirely unnoticed. Her excitement always dulled yet ever present behind the way those eyes came alight, more so now than they ever had at the start. Affections heavily reserved, those arms rarely wrapping around him but when they did it was as if nothing else mattered.
“All I can be certain of is it wasn’t good. Her mannerisms give away more than enough,” whatever she’d gone through he couldn’t allow it to happen again. Not on his watch. Though neither could he be the cause by dragging her back into the unknown, at least if she stayed with Ajax there would be a sense of stability. “I already know she would want to come with me but I can’t let her. What kind of life would that be? Always watching your back, always on the run. I can’t put that on her,” couldn’t hurt her prospects of a normal life like that.
Though being wed, bound in a loveless affair, was hardly what he desired either. It would twist both of their lives. While he did not thinks this Arabella to be a wicked woman one could only wear the falsity of a smile for so long before the truth began to bleed through the cracks and allow others to know of distaste. “But this… this arrangement would introduce its own problems once all is said and done. I’m not sure which would inflict less of a strain.” With one he could keep to her side at the cost of both his own and a stranger’s freedom, leave misery to fester. The other an absence that he knew could not be filled with infrequent meetings or mere letters.
Hel noted the gleam in his eye, a predator seeking its prey. ”You know where to find me,.” he spoke through a crooked smile, showing a gleaming sharp canine. She smiled slightly at the thought. He seemed to waver slightly though, his gaze struggling to hold her own, his fingers pale with the grip he had on the sofa beneath him.. ”Are you okay?” she sat forward slightly, looking into his crimson gaze carefully. Her hand moved forward as though she’d brace him, check his forehead.. Something. She wasn’t quite sure honestly, but something was pulling at the edges of her mind, something that should be familiar she thought. Playing this off as only the wine and the party seemed unlikely to her, but what else could it be? He seemed to settle himself though, taking a deep breath.
”Ajax. He lives at the house with us and is more than capable of keeping her safe. Other than him? No. Dad doesn’t know about her and while Lady Eiko knows how to keep a secret her involvement would be a lot more complicated.” Hel only nodded, feeling torn for him and his daughter. It was an impossible choice for him to make. ”It would be different for her though she’s only known me two years now. She’s not blood. I know nothing of her life before, she hasn’t told me of it and I do not expect her to… All I can be certain of is it wasn’t good. Her mannerisms give away more than enough. I already know she would want to come with me but I can’t let her. What kind of life would that be? Always watching your back, always on the run. I can’t put that on her.” She felt an ache in her chest for that young girl. She had wandered alone for many years, knowing the difficulties of survival first hand. Those early years had been hard on her own, but she would have been lost without the teaching of her brothers. She’d known hunger and cold like old friends. What had been unfamiliar was the pain of loneliness and loss. Then there was the curse of other’s, those who sought to use whoever they saw fit. Too often there was a price to womanhood that men would never know. She could still feel the phantom touch of hands and lash that had torn her flesh apart. To face this strange city alone at such a young age would have been horrific.
”She is lucky to have found you then. It sounds like she has known a hard life. I can say living on the run is not easy. I don’t know what she went through before, I can only imagine and speak from my own experience. I chose to run. I do watch my back. I’m not completely alone out there, but I’d run everyday for the chance to be free, to know and have what I do now. To be honest, that’s not much, but I am finding my way.” She shrugged slightly, a weak smile at the curve of her mouth. A child made it more complicated. Would she stay in a gilded cage if it meant safety and warmth for a child? She thought of her own mother, a woman who seemed to walk evenly between her kindness and firm hand. She’d idolized her in many ways. It took a staggering strength to pull herself up and raise so many young mouths without her husband. How she’d longed for her warmth in the darkness of her cell…
A shiver raced down her spine at the memories, wrapping her arms around her narrow waist protectively. Her mind working quickly to tamp them back down. ”But this… this arrangement would introduce its own problems once all is said and done. I’m not sure which would inflict less of a strain.” She nodded her understanding, resting back on her hands, her gaze traveled the room as if it would offer some hidden solution. ”I do understand your hesitation. I know this life gives her comfort and security, but she will also see your suffering, no matter how you try your best to hide it. Children certainly see more than we give them credit for. Whatever you decide, I’m sure it will be the right thing for you both.”
Askance bid ears to swivel, focus found by all which graced them despite how sights hoped to deny any semblance of clarity. Words would be enough, they had to be. Sentiment clung to as briefly fingers relinquished their hold upon upholstery to offer a short dismissive wave of the hand before finding purchase anew. Grip lighter than it’d once been though steadying all the same, admittance that does not lace his tongue as an invisible weight seemed to settle upon it.
Slowly contorting honeyed tones, “Probably just coming d-down with something.” Lie not even he believed for wolven immunities were held toward a number of human diseases and he’d not been around any ailing hounds recently. Nor could any of terrible sickness be scented within the main halls, surely something screened for alongside weaponry before being allowed in.
No this wasn’t sickness, but if anything laced a drink it was different from sensations endured upon last full moon. Lips did not grow numb nor a mouth seem to tingle, insides did not twist with an incessant need to purge all one had consumed mere moments ago. Drumming pulse did not weaken or slow rather, in these moments, it quickened upon a nerve stricken beat. Gradually twisting from its usual rhythmic tone. Nothing in the now aligned with back then. The only creeping similarity lie in that slow rasp of air, in how it would seem to constrict as time ticked by. Yet it remained open for now.
Decorated crown lightly shook as if thoughts could be chased away with dizzying act, “Don’t worry over me Helayne… I’m s-sure it will pass.” However, if the fuzzy motion of her hand strayed closer he’d not move from it. Allowance granted should she choose to act upon whatever instinct bid her forth, whatever may instruct that passing touch to trail against over heated skin. If that was what she wished, she would not be denied. Though no matter if another carried through it would not alter what Augustus hoped to say, all she’d say in return.
Bleary gaze drifting to the ways arms seemed to coil about her waist, the want to interrupt and issue the same query she’d asked of him swallowed back. Are you alright? An echo within the mind though it cannot seem to reach his tongue. Already an offer had been made, hope to remedy at least a portion of what ailed her thoughts… he would not press anything more of it now. Though he knew such a question could not be held back forever. For now focus readily clung to another as Helayne spoke of decision, her words seeming to hold far more confidence in him making the right choice. A stark contrast to all his own mind dared to whisper, casting doubts even if he already knew the answer.
Leave or stay. It would not change what Juliet wanted in either outcome…
Perhaps he should just speak with her, be completely honest with her about all of this. Already he knew announcement of this so called ‘celebration’ had not reached her from his lips. It was something gleaned from invitation or heard from the whispering tongues of keepers, perhaps even from those who saw fit to change the attire she had chosen to wear. “I think it is b-best to speak with her. Even if just for a little while,” she deserved that much at least. No risk of an unannounced disappearance that would only bring the girl to worry as she had before. Rosen gaze flickered up even if it could not meet Helayne’s own, “Will you hel-”Help me look for her?
Lyrics stopping short upon the creak of a door. Fangs clicked together in mild annoyance, a feeling which did not dissipate in full after realization struck of just who had intruded upon their solitude. A woman who is not granted his full attention right away as eyes drifted back in silent plea to stay. Request for one not to stray too far away despite the words which fled, “Give us a mo-moment?” While a part of him did not wish to grant his betrothed an audience, there had to be a reason she sought him out now... and perhaps his own questions could be answered as well.
